My Part In Their Uprising #1

It is 1980, Margaret Thatcher is Prime Minister and mudskippers are starting to throw off the shackles of water and embrace the freedom of land. In Dagenham lived a boy called Rob who's dad's name was Bob (short for Rob) and who worked for EMI. Bob and subsequently Rob would get pre-released pressings of records (with white labels) and all sorts of surplus stock which Bob would move on (possibly illegally) to blokes (always blokes) for folding. Bob looked like Neil Morrissey when he was in 'Boon', Rob looked like his son and they were friends to us Browses. Once the 'obs found themselves with 250 copies of The King Singers' version of 'Strawberry Fields Forever' in red vinyl and inside a scratch'n'sniff cover. I would have been tempted to buy a copy for the novelty alone, at a discount perhaps, but to have so many to play with made us blasé and they ended up as air-rifle targets, experiments with stolen chemicals, and worse. One day Bob'n'Rob were visited by a Paul Di'anno, lead singer with an up & coming punk metal band called Iron Maiden, their first single 'Running Free' was being released and the B-side was ok (to this day the only track of theirs I can remember) - they were going to launch their LP at various pubs, clubs & record shops and wanted help with the first of these, in Barking.

It wouldn't be allowed now, and probably for good reason. Our job that day was to make sure that 20 LP covers were signed by all the band, to (under agedly) fetch beer and spirits from the offy around the corner and food from the McDonalds' around the other corner. I'm sad to report that Iron Maiden did not bite the heads off anything, smash anything up or do anything rude. They did have what I later learnt to be 'rock chicks' draping themselves over arms and no doubt having a nice game of cards with later. What I remember most is what great fellas they were and although I had no interest in their music, I always gave a little cheer if they won another 'Best This' or 'Best That' award and racked up the millions of sales and pounds. It's Paul who was the interesting one...

Of course the LP was on the turntable throughout the time we were there but Paul kept trying to swap it for 'Never Mind The Bollocks Here's The Sex Pistols' arguing that here was a great record while theirs was "rubbish" (see, not even a swear word) - and I don't remember the rest of the band arguing either. I think it is safe to say that Paul was the 'looker' amongst a bunch of regular-looking apples (note to The Jacksons: apples don't grow in bunches, so "One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch girl..." is just wrong, if cute.x.) so, he had more rock chicks hanging off him, drank more and was increasingly more difficult to obtain autographs from. The 20th LP cover (anyone who says 'album' goes down a slight notch in my estimation then, now & always) was nervously placed in front of Paul....

"Tell you what Ed, why don't you give me your autograph for a change eh?"
*scribbles "Ed" in big black magic marker on Paul's leather (!) shirt*
*slow, drunken look up & down of shirt, then of tiny pen-holding wretch*
"This bloody shirt cost me twenty five quid!"
*ruffles hair of urchin*

I only saw Paul once after that - going into Bob/Rob's for a cuppa after leaving the band, which I think wasn't that long into their run. Google his name and 'arrested' 'prison' and 'released' are immediately available - I don't want to know, don't tell me. We were allowed to keep an LP for ourselves and I gave mine to a mate (and proper fan) who promised if he ever sold it he'd split the proceedings 50/50.... Gene? Hello, Gene? It's been a while old friend.........      Gene?!