By day a mild-mannered janitor, by night an off-duty mild-mannered janitor.

By day a mild-mannered janitor, by night an off-duty mild-mannered janitor.
................by day a mild-mannered janitor, by night an off-duty mild-mannered janitor...............

Sunday 26 January 2014

An Angel For The East



A pylon, yesterday.

I e-mailed Norfolk County Council; this is roughly what I wrote [you have 20 minutes to fill in any enquiry so I might have panic-spelled some words, I've since had a cup of tea and a rest].

"Dear NCC,

There is a stretch of railway between Diss and Norwich which contains a long sweep of pylons. Unlike many, I enjoy seeing them - they let you know you're nearly at journey's end and they look a bit like very tall people." 

[note: when cable was touted as the future, I thought it meant they were going to BURY all the pylons. In the list of dumbest things I've ever thought it ranks 12th]

"There do not seem to be many residences around these pylons, they appear in farmer's fields, well protected from intruders and not affecting people's views. I think you could cheer this stretch of line up even more by choosing one of the pylons and turning it into a giant toy robot. It has to be a toy robot so as not to frighten any children. I admit this could be a dangerous and disruptive project, but if the robot is made up of six pre-painted panels of plastic or fibreglass [perhaps the boat builders on the broads or Lotus could help] it must be possible. The robot doesn't need to encase a pylon either, it could just hold the wires between two others."

There was no way to attach a drawing to the e-mail form, but I mentioned this project designed by Choi & Shine Architects for Iceland called 'Land Of The Giants'

So, I'm waiting for an answer. Chances are they'll see the e-mail was sent late-ish on a sunday and assume I was drunk or a student or both. Perhaps I needed to go to the arts council first, or Eastern Electricity, I'll keep asking whoever springs to mind until it's built or I'm deported.


This robot was inside a Christmas cracker and could be the purest design possible for '413?


28th January.


I've had a reply. We add @DonnaCropley to our list of enablers, and our robot has a name [or number at least]: #1172413. '413 for short.

Jan 28 (3 days ago)
"to me


Dear Sir/Madam

Thank you for your email regarding pylons. It has been logged under reference number 1172413.

In order to access further information regarding your idea, you will in the first instance need to contact the national grid, I have enclosed a link below for your reference.  You will also need to contact Land Registry and the local district/borough council to establish ownership of the land, further links are provided below.

*links*

I wish you every success with your idea.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can be of further assistance.

Yours sincerely,
Donna Cropley

Customer Service Assistant
Customer Services and Communications Department
Norfolk County Council"


Of course, there's this great ad for IKEA - the robot has weak arms but makes up for it with 'lifty-vision'...



4th February:

I've applied to the Arts Council for a grant to build #RobotFourOneThree; their reply was long and comprehensive so I'll try and keep it down to the main points:


  • The project has to be engaging and a benefit to the public.
  • It must be a self-contained, time-limited activity with a start & end date [i.e. they'll help build it but not maintain it afterwards, this also guards against 'Grand Designs'-type budget predictions which ALWAYS get exceeded].
  • It can't be of a commercial nature or designed to make a financial profit.
  • It can't be a charitable cause or geared towards health or social outcomes [I think this is specific to the type of funding I've applied for & is in no way an anti-charity agenda - there must be different channels for charities to try].
  • The reply warned that even if eligible [which I'm sure '413 is] not all applications succeed but there are other sources available. We also have to decide how much to apply for - there is up to £15,000 or £15,000 & above - there is an application form and proposal to construct.


Our gut feeling is that we'll need over £15,000.

So, what next? Do I find someone who'll build the robot, then find out if the owners of the land will let it live there, then ask for the money?

5th February:

I've e-mailed Lotus about the construction of '413. They make cars with metal skeletons and fibreglass skins so even if they won't make it, they should know a company that can. All Lotus cars have had names beginning with E [Elise, Exige, Esprit etc.] - it might turn out to be 'E413'. They may see it as an opportunity to trumpet their manufacturing skill, they may not. Getting a company involved who are ultimately looking for profit could jeopardise Arts Council funding, so I've stressed this is an installation. I hope they can help us.

6th February: LOTUS have kindly replied; we now add Tracey Tompsett [@traceylotus] to our list of Associates....


Tompsett, Tracey
8:31 AM (2 hours ago)
to me

Hi Edward,

Thanks for the extra information. I must say, it’s an unusual request! We have never been approached to produce a giant robot before!

I will have a chat with some of our specialists across the business, but our plant is running at full capacity building the Lotus Evora, Exige and Elise so I’m not sure there’s excess resource available.  I will see if I can get some recommendations for you though.

Thanks again,

All the best,

Tracey  


Tracey Tompsett – Public Relations
GROUP LOTUS PLC, Potash Lane, Hethel, Norwich, Norfolk, NR14 8EZ, England
 
 



A 'pylon', tomorrow? ©Ed Browse 2014

The auditions for #RobotFourOneThree are busy.


Tiger wooden toy robot.

This is another option for constructing '413....




Here's some robots your little ones can program to do "unlimited" things [that means "kick a ball, sweep things up..."]:
https://www.play-i.com/

Not sure what 'Baxter' does, but if you're writing an article or book and can't be bothered to look anything up, he might be your man. Note: you can also put him on a pedestal at extra cost [we know from science fiction that this always ends in disaster]. http://www.active-robots.com/baxter-research-robot.html

Our proposed location comes under the jurisdiction of South Norfolk District Council, our reference number is 452710. I know you love the numbers.


P.P.S. Here's a pylon skipping...





I've started a Pinterest board of robots #RobotFourOneThree could look like:
http://www.pinterest.com/ebrowse/robotfouronethree/

Pylons are between 55 & 180 feet tall. We're talking about one of the taller ones. Ole '413 will be big.

We'd be doing this...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Build-Paint-Robot-Great-Childrens/dp/B009P2M6CE/ref=sr_1_9?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1391205889&sr=1-9&keywords=vintage+toy+robot

And there's a giant robot who directs traffic in Congo....
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/innovations/wp/2014/01/30/theres-a-giant-robot-directing-traffic-in-congo/

This just in:

HitchBOT, the hitchhiking robot, enters final leg of 6,000-kilometre journey
Read more....