'Line of Duty' Series 7 (as written by Paddy McAloon in 1984)

"An outlaw stand in a peasant land, in every face see Judas."

Superintendent Hastings is the "stubborn beast", the "whiskey priest" but definately (sic) not 'H'. He's officially retired from AC-12, but because of his financial difficulties still has a "job" at Nuffield Radio Astronomy Laboratories. He's actually still in charge of AC-12, but working undercover. He's hiding from the captains who've made his position at AC-12 HQ impossible to carry out in public view. Who can he trust? Still with the threat of prison for earlier misconduct charges, the Chief Constable has a hold on Hastings. He wants Hastings to carry out one more job: find H's boss, 'GI'. 

"They ask for more than you bargained for and then they ask for more."

Hastings is convinced his new target is being controlled by the Russians. Having made contact with GI, Hastings has set up a meeting at Jodrell Bank, under the pretence of scientific findings (possibly space-related, who knows) being shared. Under his pseudonym 'Robert Fischer', he's already been to Moscow to win GI's trust. Now AC-12 are waiting for Hastings to arrive with GI. 

"When Bobby Fischer's plane touches the ground, he'll take those Russian boys and play them out of town."

Isaac Green, AKA 'Green Isaac', or GI, arrives with Hastings.

How did Hastings work out GI was H's boss? Well, when the dying DI Matthew 'Dot' Cottan was apparently spelling out "H" in morse code, he was simply counting "12345/12345" to suggest there were in fact five bent coppers ranking above Hastings. Hastings worked out that Isaac Green (nicknamed 'Green Isaac' because he bumbled his way through police college), somehow gained promotion to DCI only by selling old rope, and telling bad jokes. Corrupt, in short. 

The interview:

"Isaac Green, why did you defect to the Russians?"

"They're much more beguiling, than children at play. What was I going to say? I have limited talent, but impossible wealth. I had a schoolboy crush on Che Guevara. I had a choice: either face yourself or give it away. Don't start pretending you've feelings of anguish. You'd have done the same in my position."

"I'm no bent copper, sunshine! *fumes* ... GI, we know all about you sharing secrets with the Russians."

"Please stop talking of things you know nothing. The truth well will make you ill. We played you for fools, giving you rubbish in return for gold! So chew on the safest, the blandest of food. And avoid the specifics, that might ruin the mood."

"Isaac Green. 'Green Isaac'. GI: the letters either side of, and controlling 'H'. We've got you bang to rights, son."

"But we've also got you, Hastings. And your friends, your loved ones, your colleagues. Other lives stay neatly curtained, iron curtained you could say. Don't turn tearful, I'm not your seventh son. This star crossed lovers business, astrologeewhizzness. It doesn't scare me."

"You bastard, you leave my friends out of this. This is between you and me!"

"You better ask your wife about that. I like to think of my affair with her, and the subsequent effect on you, as my contribution to urban blues."

*Flashback to Ted and Roisin's last meeting; Hastings' last attempt to win her back.*

"Cruel is the gospel that sets us all free, then takes you away from me. We made vows, Roisin!"

"I became fed up that the days went from perfect to just okay, Ted.'

"So, these stardust memories fail to please? If you confuse this dinner dance with elegance, I'll take comfort from the guessing game aspect, that you are least where I expect. If you need to swan one-to-one, I suppose you don't need the pond. I'm a liberal guy Roisin, but what would I do? Don't call me possessive, but holy mother of God if he's smoochin' with you! The world should be free, but don't you go following suit. Our hearts are aligned, I couldn't be neutral, I couldn't be that way inclined! I'm going to be tougher than tough, and prouder than proud. I'll find him, and I'll put him away."

*Cut back to the interview.*

Hastings, looking down, close to tears: "Did you mean to humble me?'

"Don't expect so much of me, I'm just an also-ran. There's a mile between the way you see me, and the way I am. I couldn't bear to be special."

"So you did it unsuspectingly! Are you telling us you're not the highest ranking bent copper in the police force?!"

DI Arnott breaks his silence; to Hastings: "I'm not looking to disturb you, just a little to unnerve you. After that last unholy row (referring to the spinal injuries suffered in series 4) - I never, ever play basketball now. It joins the list of things I'll miss, like fencing foils and lovely girls I'll never kiss."

Hastings: "Holy Christ on a bike son, will you get to the point?!"

"Sorry, sir. I left this case behind, on an overcrowded desk where the 'IN'-tray is higher than the 'OUT'- will ever be."

Hastings looks at his watch pointedly.

"Before the tea rooms fill with flirting couples..."

*everyone in the room looks around the Nuffield Radio Astronomy Laboratories canteen, commandeered for the interview*

"Remember to call."

"Remember to call" is code for "URGENT EXIT REQUIRED". DI Arnott is in cahoots with GI, and there now follows a gunfight between seemingly allied "policemen" and Nuffield Radio Astronomy Laboratories "tea ladies". There's claret everywhere. Luckily for Hastings, DI Kate Fleming is disguised as one such "tea lady", and she's shit hot at shooting bent coppers. It was impossible to see through her disguise because a) she had let her hair grow down to her ankles (despite the fire risk) and b) she was in vertical stripes.

"Her husband works at Jodrell Bank, he's home late in the morning. Had he been a lawyer, he wouldn't work for pennies."

Roisin sits by Hastings' hospital bed. He might make it, but it's going to be a long, long road to recovery. She remembers their first days together... 

*Montage: Her parents tried but it's not much use. Her boyfriend left home, it was late summertime, life was good, they were young, but glory is purblind. She knows, and still loves the Superintendent of this hysterical town, he worked his way up from the dirt on the ground. Now everyone asks him questions, they consider they've a right to be told. People naturally wonder what it's all leading to...*

"Ted, can you hear me?"

Doctor: "It's way, way to early to talk to him. You can't call this heartbeat a man. But don't cry too soon, you might as well fall in love with the moon. For now, the anguish of love is long range."

"Are you telling me Death is neatly spruced for his honeymoon?"

"Find an answer while I leave the room. Perhaps I should learn to shut my mouth."

A year later...

Hastings to GI: "In the morning I go walking, it helps the hurting soften. I've seen a lot of places, 'cos I miss her very often. So long ago I buried something I should know... 

When they interviewed me about you GI, verse and chapter they unfurled. I used every technique, so their eyes don't fill with wonder when I speak. I loathe the stilted way they made me speak. Without recourse to lying, distortion or "cheating", they were making such a fool of me. Now, I worship the silence that sings like a bird, I long for the Moon as it looks from the Earth. Take one step, Green Isaac; one step away. The light is fading, it's making such a fool of thee, when you'd love to be someone."

*GI is led away*

Disclaimer: I haven't seen series 6, so if they all die in a freak gardening accident, I'm sorry.

I thought of putting all the lyrics from 'swoon' (yes, it's lower case on the sleeve) in italics, but it looked weird. If you don't know 'swoon' this might not make much sense. Buy 'swoon'.