The Worlds Most Dangerous Alternatives To Downton Abbey

Period Drama. These two words allow the distance between "Cor, I don't half fancy him/her", and "How about it , babe?" to stretch to two hours. So thrill-seekers who ignore 'Spooks' now Miranda Raison's not in it, need something else for 9:00 p.m. Sunday nights. Well, you didn't need to worry about "World's Most Dangerous Roads", first in a series of who cares, about those tracks seldom travelled. This week: Peru.

First of all: Ben Fogle and Hugh Dennis are still alive. If they'd perished down a Peruvian mountainside, we would've heard about it before last night's show went out. Spoiler alert too late. Imagine one of those Top Gear "challenges", halve the budget, and put lovable fluffy labrador-loving Ben Fluffy Labrador Fogle, with Hugh Looks Like My Mate Martin Dennis in place of the "boys". I reckon they could have saved a bit more cash by getting Hugh to do the voice-over - he would've lightened the mood by doing his Prince Phillip - instead we had rent-a-doom someone from the agency. Every stage of their journey was flagged up as another potential death plunge; but the car with the camera crew in it was already past the peril. We were promised all sorts of killer species along the way, but when did a snake [poisonous or otherwise] ever force it's way into a moving 4x4? I'm sure some of the scenery was spectacular, but I was too busy watching everyone else's tweets about 'Downton Abbey' and 'Spooks' to notice.

Foggy Bendle got a bit tetchy with Den Huggis at one point. Ben could've done this alone, [or with Nookie Bear for that matter] he knows the terrain and the creepy-crawlies, while Hugh [ugh, for short] is a bit towny. So there was the slight chance of fisticuffs breaking out - I'll give them that one. Perhaps next week they'll do the weekly shop and Ben [en, for short] will be the wet fish out of water. Don't matter, you'll be watching Downton, or Spooks, or even Antiques Roadshow [on 'Sunday 8:00+1'] - and I'll be with you; unless they visit The Acle Straight in North Norfolk; now that's a dangerous road. Not because of the road, but the people on it. Eyes at different heights. With flat-earth paranoia....